Marriage (Authority and Submission)

Question #1: https://twitter.com/PastorEAAdeboye/status/1282664195209732097?s=08
What do you think?

Response #1:
I suppose it works for them. But if we are asking what the Bible teaches, it is that husbands ought to love their wives and wives ought to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:25-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1-7).

It is also clear that men ought not to bully their wives or ride roughshod over them as all three passages above teach. The wife is given to the man as a helper from God (Proverbs 18:22; Genesis 2:18,22-24). So, the husband ought to treat her as the precious gift that she is from the Lord. He ought not to take her for granted or rule harshly over her. He ought not to ignore her input or treat her as being useless and incapable of helping him in making decisions (cf. Genesis 21:12). 

But, the person in whose hands the authority is in the home is the man (cf. 1 Timothy 2:12-14). It is wise for the woman to respect this. It is also wise for the man to keep in mind that the right way to exercise this authority is the same way that the Lord exercises it over the Church. If the Lord Who is the Head of the Church would give His Own Life up for her salvation and would give of all His Wealth to sustain and develop her in every way (Matthew 20:25-28; Ephesians 4:7-8; John 16:14-15), then the man ought to be of the same mind toward his wife. That he is the head should not mean that she be a slave to him.

That is what I see the Bible teaching.

Question #2:
You always speak my mind more succinctly than I ever can. 

Can I share this please?

Response #2:
Sure.

Question #3:

I felt this was kind of what you meant, but I wanted to be sure Before sharing it

Response #3:
I often try to avoid describing in detail precisely how each principle in the Bible may be applied by each given believer. So, if one believer thinks that serving his wife means that he should share in cooking and doing chores, I am not going to weigh in on that. It is between himself and the Lord whether that is how to apply what the Bible teaches.

I can say authoritatively though that the service of love is not narrow. There are all kinds of things that one may do out of love and they are determined by one's personality, one's circumstances, and the nature, needs, and desires of the person that one loves. So, it may be to cook and do dishes, or it may be to work and earn and thus provide for one's home. It may be something else entirely. The Bible does not limit what one's service must be. 

Basically, I'm saying that as romantic and progressive as it may seem to hear a man talk about how he believes that cooking and other domestic duties are not to be left to his wife, that is not a universal rule. In another context, that may only make things hard for the couple in question. There is a rule of thumb that the man ought to be the provider in the home (cf. 1 Timothy 5:8), but that does not mean that that is always feasible or that the woman is automatically ruled out as a provider herself (cf. Proverbs 31:13-22).

Question #4:
I totally understand. However, I didn't mean that that's exactly what you meant, I was referring more to his principle of service rather than assuming the role of someone to be served. I know there are several ways the husband can serve and it must not necessarily include sharing the chores. 

But if we are to be honest, if Jesus could wash his disciples' feet, why should a husband feel it's a taboo to help his wife with whatever? I'm saying this in the context of men who completely rule out themselves from doing "womanly" duties without caring if it overwhelms her forgetting he's supposed to love her.

Anyway, like I said, I totally get your point.

I just read proverbs though and doesn't that chapter sort of contradicts the one in Timothy that says a woman should dress in a way that calls attention to herself and she should quietly listen and learn etc etc?

Response #4:
Obviously, there's no question that when you love someone, it is only right to do everything that you can for them that they either need or desire (if their desire is good for them), so it is no taboo even to do one's wife's laundry or other domestic duties. Nobody can hinge on the Bible to say that.

The one in 1 Timothy talks about taking teaching authority over men. The one in 1 Peter talks about dressing modestly and submitting to the husband. I don't quite see any contradiction between them and Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31 demonstrates that a good wife is a woman whose husband can trust with his home and his wealth.

Question #5:
I didn't know there were really men who thought like that, or at least I never really conversed with a man who completely thought his wife must take care of the home with little or no room for his help or any other help for that matter until he decides it's necessary until recently. I was shocked. And these same men will quote wives submit to your husbands.

1 Peter what?

Response #5:
I understand. There are all kinds of people in this world. And all manner of wicked people find some way to use the Bible to justify their wickedness (cf. Romans 3:8).

1 Peter 3:1-6. I quoted it in my first response.

Or rather, I referenced it.

Question #6:
Oh okay I didn't read it

I just read it now

There's something very similar in Timothy I read today

I can't remember exactly

Wish my bible could show history 😂

Lol. No one will ever quote this one o.

Response #6:
You should probably read the references in my first post. There are some from 1 Timothy that you can check to see if they are what you read.

Question #7:
Oh okay

Let me do that

This is really Something though

(Voice note about doing your own part in marriage even if the other person is failing to do theirs.)

Response #7:
I'm afraid I can't credit the bit about "without fear of what your husbands might do." While every believer should certainly be diligent to obey God no matter what the cost of doing so might be, even if it means offending a spouse, the context here is about women treating their husbands respectfully.

Marriage is a contract that the Lord instituted for all people regardless of their attitude to God. Even unbelievers can benefit from the institution of marriage if they are willing to be decent, conscientious people.

Question #8:
Alright

Thank you

I appreciate you always taking time to teach me. Thank you 😊

Response #8:
You're welcome.

Did you find the passage in 1 Timothy you were asking about?

1 Timothy 2:9-10 (NKJV)
9 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

Question #9:
Yes I did. I read it that same night

Response #9:
Okay, good.